4 weeks to go!

FAM!

How is everyone this week?! I hope you're doing great.... I missed hearing from you all this week. But Mom, thank you for the package!! I absolutely LOVED getting it! It was so fun to hear that you'd seen some of the Canto elders too!! haha! How was Brian Regan??!!!!! I'M SO JEALOUS. I told my district that you went to Brian Regan and they all agree that it's completely unfair. So Elder Nestman quoted some Brian Regan and I allllllllmost felt like I was there with ya :) Was it so warm in St Geezy? Ahhh. I wish I could have come. Michelle Bowman - it made my entire WEEK to get your letter and your pictures! Your boys are the cutest! I loved hearing about what you're doing, and I'm writing you back today. Thanks so much!! Matt and Misti - I cried when I read your dearelder and so did one of my roommates. I told my roommates a few weeks ago to keep you in their prayers and we've all been praying that you'll get this baby!! Prayers are continuing to be sent your way from the MTC! I'll write you guys back today too! Grandma and Grandpa, thank you for your dearelder! I love reading about what outside life is like. haha. Any news from someone outside the MTC is like gold. Thank you so much everyone! I have so much love and support and feel so blessed.

Basically, time is FLYING. I cannot believe we've only got a month left. Some districts in our branch left this morning and it was so sad! :( but at the same time so happy. They're off to the Philippines to start sharing this awesome gospel message! How lucky! :) Anyway, that means we're now the oldest districts in our branch (all the Cantos). Wow. I can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday I was timidly walking around the MTC feeling like everyone else knew what they were doing and I had no clue. Now we'll be out in a month. It's pretty crazy. By the way, Arlynn Robinson is in my branch. Small world!

Teaching our "investigators" is becoming my favorite hours of the day. We usually teach every day and it is so amazing. I love preparing lessons for these two girls to hear. We have two investigators, Zoe and Vina. This week was an emotional week for me with both of them! When we taught Zoe on Tuesday, I started to cry. I felt SO MUCH COMPASSION for her and I wanted her to know SO BADLY how this gospel can bless her life! I was bearing testimony about how desire can grow into faith. I asked her, "Do youwant to believe in Christ?" She said yes. So I bore testimony of Alma 32:27 and how I KNEW that the Lord works with our desires. If we desire to believe, we need only take action and give ourselves unto the Lord. I KNOW that He makes up the rest. I feel that with a conviction I have never felt before in my life. I started talking about that in our lesson and all of a sudden the Spirit hit me like a wall and I KNEW - with ALL of my heart - that what I was saying was true. I started crying and couldn't even go on. Sister Morgan had to take over. It was the most intense feeling I have ever experienced. Later, in calss, when we were doing companion practicing, Sister Morgan was acting as an investigator that didn't know if she was ready for baptism yet. I bore testimony of the same thing and again, the tears, the choked-up intensity was back. I know the Lord works with our desires. I know it with my whole self. I desire to be like Him. I know that with Him, I can do all things. I just have to take action.

We "street contacted" Vina earlier this week and invited her to come to the "church" with us to hear our message about Jesus Christ. In our first real lesson with her on Friday, we were teaching her about God's love for her. We were really trying to teach her to pray and she wasn't understanding it and didn't want to pray. I was trying to make her understand how important prayer is. I asked her, "You love your dad, don't you?" thinking that I would say, well, you talk to him because you love him, right? Heavenly Father is our father. He wants us to talk with him because He loves us. We can show our love to our Heavenly Father by praying to Him and talking with Him. Anyway, I said, "You love your dad, don't you?" and she looked at me with big eyes and shook her head and started bawling. It was soo sad. I was just in shock. I hadn't meant to pry and I hadn't known she didn't love her dad. We all just sat there for a minute, letting her cry it out. I said softly, "Mh hoyisi" (I'm sorry). Then I started crying. I looked over at Sister Morgan and she was crying. I was thinking, oh my goodness I want to help her SO BAD. I want her to be happy! I want her to know that God loves her and knows her and wants to help her! So, after letting her cry for a few minutes, Sister Morgan started testifying that she knew God knows us. Life is difficult, but God is there for us. He loves us so much and wants us to reach out to Him for help. I testified that I knew God knows HER. I know that Jesus Christ knows her trials and that he loves HER. I told her that we wanted to help her, and the reason we were meeting with her is because we want to serve her. I said, "Ngohdeih ngoi leih" (we love you). We then taught her to pray. When our 30-min-turned-hour-long lesson was over, Sister Morgan and I left both feeling so inadequate and so humbled. "Vina" is our teacher, Leih Jimuih. But those tears and those feelings that she didn't love her father were real. I don't know if Leih Jimuih is just a really good actor and really felt the feelings of someone that does not love their father, or if she herself doesn't love her dad. I don't know. But all of a sudden this mission experience became so much more real to me. We are not going to Hong Kong to teach a bunmch of robots that are going to jump up and want to be baptized. We are going to Hong Kong to teach REAL people with REAL heartaches, REAL problems, and REAL lives. I have to be so in tune with the Spirit and so receptive to what our Father in Heaven has in mind for His children. Sitting there watching Vina cry because she does not love her dad.... I couldn't relate. I love my dad more than I could ever even say. But I felt an overwhelming sense of love and compassion for Vina. I can't even imagine how our Heavenly Father feels, watching the grief and sorrow that goes on here on earth. I can't imagine the pains and the sadness that other people feel. But I so badly want to share with them that Christ is our Savior. He can make the pain go away. He can come to us and hold us and help us along every difficult part of life. He will be there for us when no one else will be. His Atonement can heal our hearts and show us how to be truly happy. I want Vina to know this SO BADLY. I hope I will be able to teach her of the things I KNOW to be true.

GOSH, being a missionary is SO AWESOME!! I wish I could express it better!! Yesterday, I felt so STOKED to be a missionary. I don't know what other word to use haha! Being here is so exciting! Fast Sunday yesterday was incredible. I feel the Spirit so much more when I'm fasting. I can tell a difference - I am much more close to the Spirit. It's really cool. Anyway, on Fast Sundays here they have a mission conference in the morning for 2 hours. SPECTACULAR. Oh my goodness. The MTC presidency and their wives spoke to us. It was so amazing. They spoke about Jesus Christ and the Atonement and I'm not kidding when I say I was bawling THE ENTIRE TIME. My sweater needed to be washed so bad afterward... there was snot and tears all over it. Gross. haha. Btu it was so good. The spirit was so strong. I am so thankful to have a firm testimony of my Savior. He is the center of my testimony, and I'm working to make Him the center of my life. I hope I can show Him how much I love Him and want to be like Him! Last night the devo was by Chad Lewis. He used to play football at BYU and then he played for the Philadelphia Eagles! Now he's the NFL Ambassador for China because he went on his mission to Taiwan. He gave us a pep talk. It was SO awesome. Seriously after the devotional I was grinning from ear to ear. I felt like flying. We are missionaries! This IS possible. Not only is it possible, this misison is the greatest time of my life! The Lord is with his missionaries. Now it is time to work hard and be my best! I am part of the greatest army of warriors in history! It's so empowering and sooo exciting!

We watched Legacy last night for our Sunday movie night - it almost felt like being home! - and watching it with a bunch of missionaries is hilarious. Everyone laughs and oohs when they kiss, and everyone has been quoting it today. "I'll have none of that!!" "Johnnnyyyy..." "No, finish it for Mama" (with that face you know she does... whit and park, i know you know what i'm talking bout :) hahahaha) And everyone thought Jacob was going to hit David with the hammer when he tells him that Eliza will have to choose between them. So many of the elders had never seen it before!!! Insane! I've seen it so many times, I couldn't even count! Some missionaries say that is the cheesiest show they've ever seen, but I still love it. And yes, I cried.

Dad, Elder Barker (our district leader) reminds me SO MUCH of you. It's weird. He played football and ran track in high school. He is super dedicated and focused and diligent. He has a super strong testimony and he's a great leader. He's super funny and calls everyone stud (like you did in your letters home from the MTC hahahaha). He was so excited to have a football player come speak last night. He's like your twin. Just a fun little fact :)

Hmm.. what else is going on here... I floss my teeth every single night. I haven't missed a night yet! Tell Dr Flick :) I love cinnamon altoids. Since we can't chew gum here, I am all about mints!!!! I hate bad breath. I am sick of eating salads. So, so, so sick of salads. So i've been having rice sometimes. It's a nice change. I hope I'm not gaining weight. Sand volleyball is still so much fun. We're hoping that we get another general authority for devo sometime soon! Keeping our fingers crossed! That's like the most exciting thing that happens around here. I still LOVE my district. They are so amazing. I love how close we've become. It is going to be soooooo sad to leave the MTC and all of these awesome people!!

The Lord has blessed me beyond belief. I feel so humbled by everything I am given every day. I still can't believe I'm on a mission. This feels like routine now to me, but sometimes I'll be sitting here thinking, wow. I'm a MISSIONARY. I'm going to China. CHINA? what??! I have the privilege of teaching His children about this glorious gospel message. I am doing the right thing! I love it SO much.

I love you all sooooo much. I can't believe the Lord blessed me with such an amazing family. I think about and pray for you all every day! I love you so much! I'll get on a little later and send some pics! :)

With allll the love in the world,
Shay Bay
Gwok Jimuih

xoxo :)